the story of the boy who screwed up his a-maths paper.

it was a thursday. it was just like any other day, he woke up at 6am, took 20 minutes to shower, 10 minutes to wear his school uniform.

he left his house. he walked to school. he neared school. he reached school. he entered school. he is in school. LOL.

he walked to class. he neared his class. he reached his class. he is in class. LOL.

he sat down. he took out his a-maths book. with bated breath, he opened his book. he then said.
"GODDAMNIT LA I HAVEN'T STUDY A LOT -.-"

he studies with his classmates. classmates who apparently knew more than him. classmates who understood what partial fractions meant. but then again, some of them were prepared to fail. xD

oh well. then the bell rung. immediately, he felt an adrenaline rush. the rush of blood up his ass. the rush of glucose and whatever shit up his veins.

he then took his seat. out of nowhere, a teacher came into class. a beautiful one. her name was, ms. ong. hahahahahahaha.

she then shouted. she gave the most passionate shout anyone could have possible heard. it was a shout that charmed the hearts of many.

"OI GO BACK UR PLACE."

charmed by her voice, everybody went back to their places. and quickly.

everyone then made noise. national anthem hadn't begun, so everyone relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxed.
and then, a mysterious voice came up on the pa system. such a scary voice indeed, it scared the crap out of many. a voice that indeed, could make ears bleed and rot.

"good morning unitians, the morning assembly will begin in 2 minutes time. please get ready."

so everyone didn't care. not at all. everyone carried on with their normal things.
until the next announcement. which nobody in the class heard at all.

"good morning unitians, please rise for the morning assembly."

nobody heard, so nobody moved. until everyone looked to the other side.

"EH ALL STANDING LEI."

thus, following the actions of our ancestors. we stood.

and then suddenly, words of such devastating nature blasted out of the pa system.

"sekolah sedia."

OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, FAST FORWARD.

the boy sits at the table. the boy looks at the cover. and then, looking back at him, was a face. it was the cutest face in the entire world. a face so cute, he would have had sex with that face.

'mohamad rizuan bin =D'

thus. the boy waits. he waits for so long, he dreamt of all the nightmares that could have come with tht paper. he started hallucinating. he started having morningmares. he started vomiting in his head. he started dying mentally. he started thinking, "omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg". he started thinking of how to kill himself. HE STARTED TO DIE.

"you may begin."

immediately, he FLIPS THE PAPER OPEN LIKE IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. WITH VIGOUR, HE LKSHOINEWDIWN THE PAPER. HE FLIPPED TO THE FIRST PAGE. SUDDENLY, WORDS OF LOVE CAME TO HIS MIND.

"ah fuck lah -.-"

he began doing the paper. he looked at the first question. easy! he looked at the second question. easy! he looked at the third question. easy! he looked at the fourth question.

"fuck you la nabe -.-"

thus began his inevitable journey towards failure. there was another 1.5hours in the exam, and his mind went completely blank. he had no idea what to do. his attempts to salvage marks, ended up salvaging his own sanity.

oh for fuck's sake, that was me -.-
hahahahahahahahhaha.

iwan8082
i said it @ 10:33:00 PM

here's a poem from some fb group, for all those minahs and matreps out there.

"oh minah pantat macam jelly,
tak pakai seluar dalam,suka pakai tali,
lagi lagi tengok lu orang punye coli,
da cakap berkali kali,
kening korang stop it,
semua orang geli,
lama lama gua tengok gua mau lari,
si Matrep apa lagi,
i tak boleh angkat sekali."
 
if you translate it literally to english,
 
"oh minah the butt like jelly,
never wear underwear, like to wear string,
somemore see other's bra (LOL),
say how many times already,
you all stop it,
everybody irritated,
the more i see the more i want to run,
what else lah matrep,
i cannot carry anymore (-.-)"
 
hhahaha.
in case u're wondering.
 
matreps or mat reps are malay guy gangsters.
you can spot them by their floating caps, ultra tight jeans and in some cases, their necklaces.
 
mat minahs or simply minahs, are the female versions of malay gangsters.
how to tell them apart? simple, just find a girl that dresses like shit and you know it's a minah.
 
anyways, to all matreps and minahs out there, go fuck yourselves. ^^

iwan8082
i said it @ 12:11:00 AM